Slamming Doors and Muffled Raised Voices

Going back to the issue of traumas, the reason that they are pretty much an unavoidable part of life is often that they are not all necessarily caused by ill health and other people-the planet itself and the elements and noise vibration or pollution as they call it exists, so unless you were born into a vacuum it is unlikely that you can be completely immune or protected or indeed should be.  I often think many of societies ills and ill health’s today are quite often a result  of over protection, where bodies haven’t been given the opportunity to develop naturally strong immune systems.

Whilst I cannot prove what I say the reason I bring this up is that when we think of trauma an automatic assumption of people can often occur, yet my own experience of meditation and hypnosis previously demonstrates that a good percentage of ‘traumas’ is in fact environmental noise and we are always in an environment of one sort or another and have all lived our lives in varying environments. So if you do use techniques such as timeline (which I previously mentioned) seek to consider elements that you may not have thought to focus on such as those in my title, anyone is likely to have encountered slamming doors or heard muffled voices et al, and when we are young, we may have been affected more than we realised, again it is all there somewhere in you’re noggin waiting for a ‘please release me’ trigger or reminder or exorcism.

There is no such thing as ‘actual’ normal, only imagined aspirational normality often portrayed in entertainment media which many people traumatise themselves trying to fit, better to release the aspirational perfections and live and play the cards you are dealt towards your own aspirations and goals.  We’ve all hear the stories of the Vicar’s daughter’s being the most rebellious in class etc, a kind of intrinsic need to not be the Vicar’s daughter.  As someone who grew up around musicians, bands and singers from as young an age as I can remember (i.e. that was my childhood normal), I spent a lot of time in my teens mentally running away from that, to  pursuing being the normal of friends and TV characters etc, whilst many of them (secretly at least) wanted or aspired to go the other direction.  Finding satisfaction in a World that demands us to not be satisfied is tough. 

And the living in the shadow of family can be really tough, I recall a guy I schooled with whose whole family was army army army, he was in the army for approximately three days, even though he’d spent his whole life and upbringing being geared towards that existence.

So trauma can be environmental, it can be running away from assumed shadows (things that we thought or think are expected of us (very often when they aren’t), silly things like someone grabbing you in a fairground darkened funhouse room when you are little (much like many children are afraid of people in Santa Outfits), or the big wheel that we braved to impress people when we have an aversion to heights.

The reason I say this now is that I focussed a great deal on people trauma previously to the exclusion of all else, and wanted to be sure that people realise trauma and suffering are part or have been part of everyones lives from point blank point zero point dot and so on, when you open up the options on all those little incidents  they can often develop into strands into themes and with timeline type techniques you can get more OMG’s I didn’t realise how much that affected me. 

As I’ve gone through Holosync levels I would say it is best described (for myself at least) as like having millstones lifted from around my neck that I was unaware even existed, so include the general World noise pollutents and hot n cold bath water (yes even the silly things) anything and everything you perhaps wouldn’t consider, I’ve been personally amazed by some of the really stupid or silly stuff that I was unaware that I’d been effected by, and how much better I feel when those issues have been dugout so to speak.  Very worthwhile. 🙂

So Am I A Fan of Anyone or Anything?

This is an interesting question I’ve found myself asking recently perhaps inspired by my own recent revisits to facebook, which I haven’t really contributed to over the last year or two.

Like many people when I was younger,I was a bit of a compulsive faddist, in the sense that whatever was going on in a particular scene or was new with technology, I had to be in on it or have an opinion of one kind or another.  We often take forward with ourselves the things that we genuinely like and drop those that don’t fit our now profile (in a what’s hot what’s not fashion) so to speak.   I have to admit to being very very hard nosed and heartless and unforgiving on myself (rather than others) in an almost cut my nose off to spite my face attitude-very much the been there,done that, liked it loved it left it behind-I was relentlessly hard on myself and looking back now it seems like I did have an inbuilt self sabotaging (I’m undeserving) manner.  When where why and how I became like that I’m unsure, yet obviously when you have that attitude towards yourself you do (inadvertently perhaps) invite the same from others.

Anyway older and maybe a little bit wiser and knowing that I am totally out of fashion (I see and know little of TV, Music, gadgets, sport, politics, etc)  In fact you could say I’m pretty much disconnected from any knowledge scenes, where once I had to be with it-I am at the opposite end of the spectrum like an opposable thumb looking at the fingers.

And the more I have let go of being interested in various scenes, the more I’ve found that none of them really matters to me, like I was fulfilling cravings or addictions  that I now simply shrug and smile at.  

I am quite sure my regular usage of Holosync Meditation has contributed to that enormously, however I digress and would simply like to say that I have looked again at Facebook, and many of the people that appear on my newsfeed and  I feel a real appreciation that those people are there doing what they do or sharing a little bit of there lives with me, so the answer to the question in the title is yes I am a BIG BIG FAN of some people and often wonder what it would be like to be more involved in community, relationships and so on, and why are the best woman taken, married, living in Outer Mongolia etc etc (lol) anyways thank you all for keeping me on your lists when I’ve not been around.  🙂 🙂 🙂

The Resolution Revolution

So you survived all that Christmas was able to throw at you, and now you are thinking that the New Year is a time for change and rolling with the herd ‘Resolution Revolution’.

For many years now, I have actively rebelled against all the ‘special days’ that society invents, an example…The one day in the year I would absolutely not quit smoking on is ‘National Non Smoking Day’ if the brains that created it gave it some credible duality of ‘National Start Smoking Day’ (for already non-smokers) I might have considered it worthy or of being of some merit.

Likewise we have the Mothers day and Fathers day and a whole host of days that use a form of pressurized guilt or shame etc etc to make you part with your money and/or VICES, the calendar is awash with these days that of course, are really wholly dependent on you as an individual having worthy recipients of the gifts and gratitudes,or indeed you really may have had worthy recipients and all these tagged as special days serve as an unwanted reminder of lost loved ones.   You cannot escape the implied angles and perspectives just perhaps seek to deal with related issues and traumas in a personally managed manner. 

So resolutions? I have a long list I would do well to abide by, so the issue for myself at least is motivation, following the breakup of my marriage a few years ago and my subsequent return to the City of my Birth, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong, where once I was motivated, this City and large numbers of its residents (or populace) have shown me they’re true nature, I could of course gracefully lie, but I have little to zero tolerance for that from others, so why would I behave like that myself.

Does that mean I dislike or hate all of the varied peoples I encounter, of course not, I do dislike certain types of ‘bullshit know-it-all’ behaviours and attitudes from strangers who in reality are often ‘bullshit know-fuck-all’ merchants.  I’ve encountered people of all stripes and communities and in general regard everyone on an individual basis first and collective basis second (if at all).  

My reasons for this are very very simple-collective identities are very very often the biggest villians of the peace anyone can cling too (In my opinion) and all to often the collective isn’t going to genuinely support any individual for the individuals deepest inner needs or requirements.  When I say collective of course there are actually many competing groups and factions and opinions all enmeshed and woven through peoples lives.

I find dealing with individuals simpler than labelled groups, but that is of course just me, and some people perhaps many people love collective identities above individual identity so one has to be aware of such differences and accept they exist in that fashion (far better for me to focus on myself as an individual than to later realise or be hurt by an assumed collective that doesn’t really exist beyond the confines of some peoples imaginations).

So resolutions can be motivators and give direction in ones life but ultimately you are only going to get out what you put in to the carrying out of the aforementioned resolutions, and if what you are doing is going to give you your own kind of KARMA, BE SURE YOU ARE PUTTING OUT THE KARMA YOU WANT TO RECEIVE.

If You Were To Write A World Wide Address

It occurs to myself as someone who generally tries to pay attention to the various Christmas speeches of leading World Wide Figures such as Queen, Pope and other reported luminaries, and of course all the counter culture alternative speeches by self aggrandizing wannabe’s, that very little changes between the nature of these cultures.

We all of course know that all these young and indeed not-so-young counter culture self aggrandizing revolutionary types will in all likelihood in a few short years (and if successful) be sending there own children to the Posh ‘Establishment’ schools and Universities that many currently profess to be against.  The fashion of rebellion throughout the ages demonstrates this, especially in more recent years with popular cult figures such as Rock n Pop Stars n Actors n Actresses n Comedians and so forth.  

My own view on this is quite simple in the sense that I choose my own path with what I would regard as a more moderate rational, anyone familiar with Hypnosis and Meditation knows that when we’ve spent lifetimes repressing all those hurts and pains and poverty consciousness feelings, in general we’ve also been repressing the alternate side of the coin.   How many of us have ever heard a Treasure Hunter say or complain ‘I only found one side of the coin’  I need more funding to find the other side.  Essentially we bury the whole ‘good and bad’ ‘black and white’ aspects together.  When we make these types of realizations in any area of life, we can whilst not denying (long assumed gone) griefs and pains and hurts, begin the process of accepting if not embracing the letting go of the ‘stiff  upper lip’ especially those of us in the UK who identify or have been raised with this aspect of Cultural Identity.

The ability to empathise with one self and ones own suffering first (with these issues) and others second is perhaps where I lost myself in the past, if you haven’t personally addressed such issues (which everyone has) then you may not be genuinely able to help others, on the other hand you could say my empathy was genuine, though simply perhaps misguided.

Leave no leaf or page unturned in the questioning and processing of these issues and in time maybe something better, and even larger realisations can happen, learning to identify the learning’s and positives from tragedies and indeed any given scenario, is now in my own mind at least better than continuously playing to someone else’s (repress repress repress) cultural rhythm of life.  I pause and am always asking myself ‘what are the benefits’ or ‘how can I change-reinterpret my current perception of X given scenario’.  

As I’ve said previously I am seemingly touched by the worst of filters that I may or may not have deliberately clung too at various stages of life, and whilst some served me well over the longer term, many have long outgrown any possible usage-they say you cannot teach an old dog new tricks-this is absolute bullshit, an excuse process designed to not see feel hear acutely and change your life and World in an ALL-ENCOMPASSING-EMBRACING-REALITY-MANNER.

I may be unable to change others but I can certainly change myself to be a fuller and more human human and in the process contribute to a more REWARDING ENDURING SET OF STANDARDS AND CHOICES BY WHICH ONE CAN LIVE ONE’S LIFE!

Are Australia and Canada a Trip to Far

These two Countries of course-especially relating to us Brits have long been the ‘Start A New Life’ destinations for many members of many families, how hard and difficult that is depends on what you’re expectations are and what you are endeavouring to achieve. 

My own early knowledge of Australia of course came in the 1970’s way prior to the TV inspired invasion of the mid 1980’s.  My Aunty and Uncle whom I had never actually previously heard of returned to the UK with my 3 Australian cousins in toe.  To a child of that era of course they were simply strangely tanned with funny voices but children not unlike ourselves whom war and peace and play could be declared upon in equal measures, so we did just that.

I mention this brief anecdote, for the sake of leading into the 1980’s UK  TV obsession with Australia and Australian soap operas such as Neighbours and Home and Away.  The influence they had on the young generation and amount of people born after this soap invasion were quite strange to myself, i.e. I already had previous experience and was related to such characters, to myself at least it was shrug the shoulders kind of stuff.  What did become visibly apparent to myself at least were the amount of UK youngsters with highly visible Aussie like features, it was almost like some subliminal cloning had gone on where people with zero links to Australia were suddenly all having Children that looked like Aussies.  I swear there is a generation of Brit born kids all over the United Kingdom that probably look more like Aussie offspring than Brit offspring. Noticing this sort of phenomena is something of course that is never spoken of, because to a vast TV/Movie hypnotised collective-the details or impetus or acknowledging of this doesn’t exist in Mr and Mrs Joe Public’s collective psyche.  It is of course noticeable to people who’ve developed those type of skills, whether they are Police men who have sharpened Identity Parade type skills or the people in the make-up and cosmetic like industries or the very very few genuine psychics (as opposed to the masses and masses of popular culture fakes).

Any such skill can be genuinely developed to anyone at any age that seeks to develop those skills or indeed increase awareness, nothing is ever fully or ultimately set in stone, I know we have a multitude of bombarded influences on us all and there are only so many hours in the day, but a challenge is a challenge non the less, and as we know from many opinion polls,most opinions on other people are worth diddly squat-most demonstrate 50-50 guesses with little to zero genuine aptitude, hence the ‘I can read X like a book’ or ‘You can tell a book by it’s cover’ usually being one of the biggest lies society in general deludes itself with.

Before people think I am being heavily handed in criticising the UK mass culture, I of course should point out I was a real real Aussie fan saddo in that I was a fan of staying up into the middle of the night and watching Prisoner Cell Block H, even before that too later achieved a cult modicum of popularity.  It was dire, yet I watched it in an almost obsessive ‘gotta get my fix’ addiction.

Canada is a very different ‘kettle of fish’, I went to school with people who holidayed there and had family there much in the same way as my own links to Australia, yet we have never really had a Canadian mass influence ‘INVASION’ comparable with that of Australia.  Can we expect a Canadian invasion, perhaps Canada is simply just that, It’s Canada, kind of like how we want it to be or visit, some how locked in a old Brit-French Beautiful Landscapes and Mounties timewarp, just above the far more Industrious USA.  I know little of Canada apart from some inner desire to one day visit and see Niagara Falls and experience ‘What else have they got-PEACE AND SOLITUDE-created by the vast distances of unchanged Forestry and Wildernesses.  

How real are the influences and choices and desires and trips we make, if I were in a routine of visiting or leaving such influences alone because I like them the way they are, then keep the routine or improve but first be sure you know what it is that causes you to have those feelings and experiences in the first place, don’t rely on being told by me or others explore you for you!

So You’ve Never Had The Urge To Runnaway

This is without a doubt a huge huge biggie for many people, one of those areas where a sly transformational excuse is somehow allowed without acknowledging our reinterpretation.  Running away is often associated or highlighted as a Christmas issue yet for many it might be a genuinely best choice option.   We also have the reinterpretations such as the going on a Christmas Holiday, or lets runaway to Scotland and Gretnor Green.

I’ve noticed that as the Worlds population has increased we have had a greater blurring of the seasonal patterns that were once easily identifiable.  This running away theme comes with an almost unnoticed building up of pressure in the preceding weeks to Christmas, although it is and can be experienced at anytime in ones life.

Does karma catch-up with you if this is a personal choice you have made, I honestly do not know, opinions I had prior to awareness and enlightenment (so to speak) often no longer stand up to any known criteria that such judgements can be made.  What’s good for the Goose is good for the Gander in terms of respecting everyone’s individual rights.  I know again like the long arc of a story, these actions might also be episodic, then again you may be a performing artist on tour who is always running away from a venue to arrive at the next venue.   

The let it go arguments that the running away may cause within families or peer groups, isn’t really valid either, yet pressure from the Godfather or Mother Goose type figures can often lead to paralysis by others in a given scenerio who may well have a far better input or point of view that all could learn something from.   If someone needs me to shutup or drag me down with abuse, it can be clear that these individuals could be protecting hidden traumas, or some imaginary empire they have in they’re own head, that wouldn’t stand up under real scrutiny, the kind of scrutiny, that requires a little bit of brains rather than old fashioned I’m bigger harder got more friends retarded thuggery etc.

So running away can have many causes and not just those simple assumed judgmental ones that can first spring to mind.  I would definetely seek to explore the running away themes, at least in terms of self identity and traumas, just for the widening of experiences and personal choices and options and keeping or reopening options that you previously closed.

Peeling Back The Years

Another one of those phrases that can take on a meaning all of it’s own, I of course enjoy and have always enjoyed peeling and eating the festive fruits, all those exotic Apple and Orange variants and other strange and obscure fruits that we find in our festive fare.

Of course for those who have only eyes for the TV news Hell’s that we’ve witnessed this year, I for one will find it easy to peel back the years and to find and stigmatise the culprits so, Do you know anyone who has claimed ‘Grease Is The Word’ since that abomination of a musical Grease appeared in the Cinemas of ’78?  I of course was an innocent Superman fan in that year.   This has surely been Olivia Newton John’s and John Travolta inspired carnage,   I say this only partially  tongue in cheek, because another phenomena that seems to be making a comeback is that of Medallion Man (perhaps more linked with Saturday Night Fever) yet Medallion Man is definitely making his presence felt.

Did you say peeling back the ears? ear’s of course can have many prefixes, we have years, fears, tears, shears, and I wouldn’t want you to miss hear,I say with a ‘Touch Of Irony’ as we all have the ability to be nosey parker’s and curtain twitchers such is our unconscious or subconscious natural instinct, and like any instinct it can cause us mental blocks and awry filters, I know I am personally dogged by my filters though I am working on them.

Yes Peeling Back The Years is also a popular self expectancy of the Wealthy and Glamourous Body Beautiful Set with the money for Plastic Surgery and Regeneration and BeautyProducts, something once only dreamed of by Dr Who fans, so yes please do go and indulge yourselves with your peelings , 2013 is surely going to make 2012 look like a Christmas Party,and when Hell arrives you should write a memo to self  #REGARDLESS OF YOUR POPULARITY RATING AND SOCIAL STANDING OR WEALTH FAME AND FORTUNE, OR POVERTY ILL HEALTH AND SOUR DEMEANOR—–YOU CANNOT TAKE IT WITH YOU#

Ahh, Sunday the 16th I Remember It Well

Yes of course,once you’ve experienced any given calendar date and assuming you live a few years, you will of course amass a collection of repetition of most weekdays and months hidden away somewhere in you’re noggin.  If the date was a special occasion or simply one of heightened sensory input you will more likely be reminded of the occasion regardless of having any particular desire to remember the occasion.

Many of us have a traditional Sunday routine, whether it starts with lazing in that extra hour or two,or rushing home from where you stayed the night before or simply listening to you’re favourite Radio Station whilst preparing family breakfast, a routine is a routine and one that can often blur into weeks days months until you suddenly find yourself sometimes feeling like a caged animal wondering how the dickens you managed to lose 5, 10, 20 years of your life.

Of course there are ways to break the routines, especially if you do find yourself with some built up anger or resentment or regrets, shaping a new routine takes commitment and of course practice, and practice is good because it allows us the idea of introducing more variety, two pieces of toast instead of the calorie counted 1 piece of toast, a trip to the confessional at Church or Sunday lunch at a village pub and a visit to a car boot sale (do they still exist?)

Anyway breaking a routine often has to start with breaking the excuses, and the excuses we give ourselves can develop into monsters, just as any sports person in training has to go through the wall, it can seem the same way with breaking the excuses, especially when the initial changes can be uncomfortable, there are no hard and fast rules regarding speed and creativity and change, but many excuses do reinterpret themselves in other forms in an almost sly manner, so just when you think things will never change, mild signs of change do happen if you keep track of what you have been doing.  Again for many people the idea of a diary or journal can be an unwanted burden but you can generally see change in the longer term when you keep going, and go through those mental barriers and walls. 😉

Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth

Saying and indeed repeating these words is of course High Treason within the acting community, due apparently to an associated curse with this particular Shakespeare play hence Macbeth always being referred to as The Scottish Play, whatever that means, my own breaking of this law is of course nonsense, and how many nonsense laws do we adhere to in our day to day lives, that were simply stupid or silly idiosyncracies from childhood, my mommy says, my dad says, my Simon says, grows into my business empire says, at some point you have to decide on an individual basis what is a genuine national law to be abided by and what is simply a company or common law that wouldn’t be enforceable in a national court of Justice.  We I am quite sure have all had those Christmas type games such as monopoly,snakes and ladders, or even playing cards or pool in a pub where we bend or reinterpret given rules for the expediency of play, we make things easier or more difficult on ourselves according to what we’ve grown up believing.

I read a book by Steven Covey again going back several years in which he explained about values and principles that people could live there lives by, I believe he has since written a wide selection on principles and values and habits to get into.

My own interest in Macbeth is perhaps that it is a Tragedy of an almost Farcial nature, and with many Pantomimes and plays running at this time of year many of them are what are described as being a farce.  Faulty Towers (for the older generation) was a Farce comedy, that could just as easily be performed in a Theatre as on a stage, and many of the very best TV and Film are actually of this nature. Cheating spouses and people going in out of windows, doors in comedic fashion.  Agatha Christie type material can also be seen to sometimes be of this genre.

We are also at the Witching season here in the UK, perhaps why I mentioned Herbs and Spices yesterday and many medicinal remedies originated in old witch type recipes and knowledge of plants and so forth, going back to Macbeth we always seem to have the power of three strongly linked to Witches which I personally have never been able to fathom, I recall the Halliwell sisters in the TV drama Charmed always invoking this power, perhaps I’ll work it out when I move to the Flowering Levels of Holosync.

It is also of interest in that my daughter Rose is actually breaking this ‘Rule Of Three’ when she chooses to come stay with me every Christmas rather than spend the time with her sister’s Daisy and Jasmine, I’m sure they’re mother wouldn’t describe them as witches,  I will have to put it to the back of my mind whilst we go to the Panto and Cinema and all those other ‘spend dad’s money’ activities that this time of year carries with it. 🙂

Did I Really Say Everyday

Well, I may well have said I would write everyday yet on some occasions a sensible pause can seem to be the requirement of the day lest one gets to far ahead of oneself.  Another reason is perhaps that of a literary nature where books and speeches that we are happy to applaud on delivery may well have taken a process of many days weeks months years even of forward planning.

An interesting note on the differing styles of composition is that where a journalist may have an almost instantaneous requirement of delivery, a political speech may have taken some time longer to compose in accordance with traditional diary dates and conferences that we as a general public have little awareness or need for awareness of what has been happening behind the scenes, the speculation on which is often seen in popular TV political comedy’s.  We also have those other ‘Great’ works that are often written by people as a sideline to they’re careers or normal day jobs.  Tolkien and his books being a well known example.  Some of the more literary books actually contain some very surprising effects for Holosync Users also I believe, I was reading a book about books a while back and a short passage from Moby Dick caught me unawares, I added Sea faring literature to my list of possible future reads, tho’ admittedly whilst I’ve enjoyed such material in TV and Film, I often (at least previously) struggled with them in print.

So I intended to write everyday and then woke up with nothing to say, I asked myself ‘what are some other possible subjects that I could perhaps go into in more detail? and then waited for some unconscious drama to spring to mind yet nothing did.  HOW empty minded can one become, I’ve haven’t the faintest idea.

 I thought ahhh Herbs n Spices are an interesting topic with Christmas approaching and visited the Schwartz Website, I am quite sure they have actually reduced the vast quantities they used to sell that I recall spanning huge spice racks many years ago.  

There is also the questions on how do childhood themes such as wanting to be a Cowboy translate to adulthood, once again its  a matter of re-arranged thought, make a list of the items a cowboy might carry, a drinking canteen, horseshoes, a gun holster and so on.  some companies, motorway diners et al will have an eating canteen with the counter or serving area in the shape of a horseshoe, so the same words that applied to one set of recognizable geometric shapes in childhood have been taken and put into another scene (perhaps by an imaginative architect) awareness isn’t just words and sounds, but patterns and shapes and colours also, once you start seeing these translations or indeed go hunting for them, you’ll likely become more and more amused by how easily you yourself could have created or indeed had the same ideas and very likely made you yourself richer in the process. 🙂