So Am I A Fan of Anyone or Anything?

This is an interesting question I’ve found myself asking recently perhaps inspired by my own recent revisits to facebook, which I haven’t really contributed to over the last year or two.

Like many people when I was younger,I was a bit of a compulsive faddist, in the sense that whatever was going on in a particular scene or was new with technology, I had to be in on it or have an opinion of one kind or another.  We often take forward with ourselves the things that we genuinely like and drop those that don’t fit our now profile (in a what’s hot what’s not fashion) so to speak.   I have to admit to being very very hard nosed and heartless and unforgiving on myself (rather than others) in an almost cut my nose off to spite my face attitude-very much the been there,done that, liked it loved it left it behind-I was relentlessly hard on myself and looking back now it seems like I did have an inbuilt self sabotaging (I’m undeserving) manner.  When where why and how I became like that I’m unsure, yet obviously when you have that attitude towards yourself you do (inadvertently perhaps) invite the same from others.

Anyway older and maybe a little bit wiser and knowing that I am totally out of fashion (I see and know little of TV, Music, gadgets, sport, politics, etc)  In fact you could say I’m pretty much disconnected from any knowledge scenes, where once I had to be with it-I am at the opposite end of the spectrum like an opposable thumb looking at the fingers.

And the more I have let go of being interested in various scenes, the more I’ve found that none of them really matters to me, like I was fulfilling cravings or addictions  that I now simply shrug and smile at.  

I am quite sure my regular usage of Holosync Meditation has contributed to that enormously, however I digress and would simply like to say that I have looked again at Facebook, and many of the people that appear on my newsfeed and  I feel a real appreciation that those people are there doing what they do or sharing a little bit of there lives with me, so the answer to the question in the title is yes I am a BIG BIG FAN of some people and often wonder what it would be like to be more involved in community, relationships and so on, and why are the best woman taken, married, living in Outer Mongolia etc etc (lol) anyways thank you all for keeping me on your lists when I’ve not been around.  🙂 🙂 🙂

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