I still feel you have not explained whether you are dead or alive and that what you keep repeating about the past makes no sense-please can you put the World to rights and explain it better for me as though you are explaining it to a beginner with these matters!
Well you can only ever relate to the awareness level you are at-so from my present level all I can say is that I was there crushed by a ton of pickles and the blood pouring out of my limp and lifeless body and then a thought appeared-how the fuck are you going to survive this one Dave? Then another thought appeared-Okay okay, I’ll rescue the fucking princess argghhh lights go out.
So if ever you are lying on your death bed all you gotta do is remember that all is now and that whatever stage of life you are at or in it is always now and that the map is not the territory and that once you get yourself clear on all of the history of your own life now-you can better plan your next now and the now after that one and of course always seeking to take the seed of opportunity out of any adversity that you face in your own life.
hope that helps
One Foot In The Dream