So this the obvious next question and in reflection of the question it has simply been a case of trying to do to many things at the same time-so for instance I took up meditation to raise my Threshold whilst at the same time started Learning the new (for myself) thinking input/output models and the stimulus from the Meditation was bringing up lots of old repetitions and redundancies that I was clearing out of my own mental life and system.
At the same time I was learning new strategies and placing them on top of what was already there when I may well have been better off simply continuing in the clearing out of the old materials and so on. So my top-down bottom up approach may not have served myself all that well in the sense that they were not really all that seemingly at first at least complementing each other-by that I mean for instance that Sedona seemingly adversely affected myself more than it helped although as I progressed and so on many of my complaints have fallen away so the brain has gradually transcended many old thoughts feelings and behaviours whilst some have not fully been let go off.
I spoke of this idea that we in many ways can become our environments and that is all well and good if they are Healthy and so on yet if for whatever reason some environments have unhealthy Histories then transitioning yourself and the environment takes time-for instance I used to work at the Old Mental health Hospital and I am sure it has many a tale to tell-likewise many prison’s and buildings have stories to tell and transitioning belief system takes a little while to catch on or take hold among any given population.
You might say in games of black and white terms that I played too much of a hardball extremist game that caused many others to reject that model themselves-so whilst that is a positive from a collective progress point of view-I do seemingly find myself as being the one who is TARNISHED or whatever or at least I thought I did-in many ways I was never really the extremist anyway my own extremism perhaps coming about in response to others being extremist towards myself.
The strategy I then took was once again to isolate myself-so whilst people can complain directly or among themselves about some of my behaviours, it cannot be said in any way shape or form that I encourage unrewarding behaviour from others because you would have to demonstrate that I am ranting and preaching on some pedal stool somewhere and I simply do not do that generally keeping myself to myself.
So what next-for myself I think I simply have to fall into greater line with how the World is now and not as it was or has been in the past-I do think some criticism of myself is fair and I cannot really complain when someone seeks to nudge myself closer to that real reality. The problem of course is how can these things be done in a fair way that treats both sides in any dispute with some level of dignity and respect.
Yes most feedback I have seen or lived recently is seemingly one of “PULLING BACK FROM THE BRINK” of course identifying your own so-called BRINKS as opposed to those of others is again one of sensible judgement-I perhaps have not trusted some quarters in there feedback and so became something of an egotist and then effectively gave people no choice but to take further action against myself.
When I know that a sensible approach and a chorus in unison has been applied then there is less confusion among the choices and options available.
Thank you for reading, God Bless and be Well 🙂
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